ALONE AT THE HOME
Some of you were kind enough to suggest a few dating sites/apps that might brighten my life. And, I did check some of them out. What I found in every case was that they gather a bunch of information about you, have you upload one or more photos of yourself, have you spell out (in great detail) what your interest are and what you want out of life. Then, just when you think they are going to match you to the man of your dreams, hit you with a screen that asks which membership level you want and how you want to pay for it (small print at the bottom of the screen informs you that it will be a recurring deduction) and never do they offer a free option.
Well, while I may have been paid for sex and companionship in the past, I have never myself paid and will not at this late stage of my life start paying. Nineteen dollars a month or one hundred nineteen dollars a year, it matters not.
If it is meant for there to be someone in my life that truely cares for me and wants to be a part of my life and have me as a part of there life, it will come with the highest price of all...my trust, my heart and my love.
And so I accept one more time that I am destined to be alone at "the home", outliving most of my fellow residents, until I just go to bed one night and never wake up again.
That is not a bad thing, my life, and many others lives, could certainly be worse. It is not a cry for pity or sympathy. It is just a statement of fact and perhaps a lesson to be learned by any of you out there who are decades younger than I am.
Plan for your future. Plan for a future in which you might well be alone with no family and few or no friends. Plan for the life that you want that to be.
I am happy with my little apartment, my dog Timmy, the things I have around me that I enjoy like my books and my music and my 60 inch TV to watch movies on (like being in a small theatre). When I think about how my life made a turn from the retiremet I thought I would have and the life I live it does depress me some. But for that planned life to have happened I would never have had the 46 years I had with My Robert and that alone, those memories, keep me happy and warm and going day by day.
Love to you all and thanks for the suggestions of dating sites. It was fun but it is over.
And I'm your opposite. I was in two long-term relationships almost back to back...and that's it for me. I have met a few guys that wanted to settle down, but I declined. I now have the Lad and Warbucks, who I know if I said yes would take me off the market. But you know what...I have lots of friends, enjoy my independence probably too much, and also enjoy my alone time. Call me strange...but I feel I function and soar better when on my own. And if they or other tricks are busy, no problem...we raincheck. I think some people are wired liked this. But if I did settle, I would still have to have my own place.
ReplyDeleteMany years ago I knew a guy who had his version of your Warbucks. One lived in Los Angeles and the Warbucks lived in Manhatten. It was the perfect relationship. Oh, and my friend was a cutie. I would have hit it in a second but never happened. Wonder where he is today?
DeleteI sure someone may enter your life. It always seems to happen when one least expects it. My fathers cousin , now passed on, was in a loveless marriage for years, and finally divorced. After that he was single for a good part of his life and then at 74...bam, he fell in love with his mother's caretaker. He They were married till their deaths. She only recently passed on at 98 We can never discount when cupids arrow hits..
DeleteYes, the dating apps are awful. Getting people to commit a lot of work into their site and then hitting them up for the paywall is a dark pattern. We'll just have to find you a different way to get you a cuddle buddy, unless Sixpence is willing to gift you a membership.
ReplyDeleteThere are a few dating apps that have reasonable free options, I think, but they all want lots of your data. OKCupid used to be popular, but I do not know how much of a presence it has in West Texas. The kids are using Hinge these days, and of course Tinder is out there. But I am sure there are other ways to meet guys if you want to meet guys.
I have surrendered to just having the gods smile on me and put someone in my life. I have suddenly been getting a ton of emails for one site (I don't even remember which one) with messages and photos of men. Every one of them is between 200 and 500 miles away. Online sex is not somehing I want. You can't cuddle with it. And most of the men are in there 50 or early 60's with full body tattoos. A lot of former prisoners. I would not discriminate but that really does not go with any profile I wrote. If it was online sex I wanted, well hell, we could all just zoom one another. But that would sort of destroy what we have here so it ain't gonna happen.
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ReplyDeleteOh for the good old days of Tales of the City where there were Social Safeway and roller disco nights (it will be fun until someone puts an eye out).
ReplyDeleteWill Jay