Well I have finally caught up on reading the blogs that I missed while on my depression sabbatical. I even posted comments on a few. I probably should comment more just to show appreciation, but don't, what can I say?
Life's roller coaster continues but I am finally getting more accustomed to the ride. Sixpence Notthewiser posted the following music video and, while I am not a big fan of country music, I love this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=II-L8Hq0_i4
Except for the coal mine scenes it could have been made about My Robert and me. And I have watched it over and over and just sob each time. Partly for the sadness that it invokes but mostly for all the memories that are still, and will continue to be, alive in my heart.
Today is cleaning day for me. What fun this is going to be.
Oh, and my Endocrinologist has tripled my insulin dosage. My A1C was 9.3 the last check and he said if it continues to be that elevated I am facing some pretty serious issues. Plus I have to log my glucose readings four times a day and sent them to him weekly so that he can adjust my insulin accordingly.
My pancreas continues to be my worst enemy. It seems to be saying, no, I am not going to help you digest any food and sends it right through my body within an hour after eating. Not a lot of fun. But at the end of the month they will be going inside me and taking a biopsy of whatever it is that is growing on it. Wish me luck my friends.
The day before that I have my urology exam to determine what can be done to reduce the swelling in my prostate that is causing so much trouble. One of the pamphlets that I read about procedures states that it will return you "to life as a 30 year old". Well that is the one I want. My 30's were pretty awesome and I would not be against having that fun and overall genital function back, even if only for a few more years.
And, in a sick sort of way I am looking forward to it. It has been so long since anyone touched my nether regions that just the thought of it excites me.
So, now that we have looked down my throat and in my pants I will leave you to your days.
Ain't aging fun???
ReplyDeleteI they find the issue with the pancreas and can do something to help. Hope things begin going better for you!
aging is a bitch
DeleteGood luck! Biopsies are not fun but they're the best way to know if something is not right. And Big was just talking about BPH (which could be what you have) and the readers were saying there's a ton of treatments.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for checking me out! That video was fab. Love the song and I don't even like country music that much!!
Always good to read you.
XOXO
Yes, I have BPH but the medications I have been taking do not work like they used to so we are looking at surgical options now.
DeleteI refuse to spend my life running from one doctor to the next. It is a medical trap that plays on fear. As the guy on tictok says; "I'm here for a good time, not a long time.".
ReplyDeleteWhat I have found is that I needed to run from one doctor to the next to find someone who would actually listen to what I was saying. Then I had to get all the referrals approved by the insurance company. I actually remember when medicine was a lot easier to negotiate. But the times have changes and in Abilene pretty much all healthcare is provided by one monster group.
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ReplyDeleteIn my 30s I had a waist and a jawline to go with it, but I was pretty much broke (a ride in an old Subaru with bad suspension could result in an erection). Be careful what you wish for - the M.D. s could be referring to leaving you grad student poor.
ReplyDeleteWill Jay
I am glad you are back from sabbatical. You are allowed to reach out even when you are down, you know. Depression Brain tells you that you are better off isolating yourself, but it is a big fat liar.
ReplyDeleteI once chatted with a fellow who made regular appointments for physicals just to be touched by his male doctor because he desired the physical connection, no matter how clinical or fleeting, so you are not alone in your feelings.
ReplyDeleteI would just say that a great way to build community in the blogger world is to comment on peoples blogs. Now I am a whole bag of hypocrisy, for not commenting more than I do these days, but I developed a blogger community through blogging and reading other blogs, and posting and responding to comments and that could be a great way for you to feel more connected. Just a thought not a lecture.