Well greetings my friends.

Other that a bunch of aches and pains my health remains unchanged. I see my primary care physician Thursday and I am going to insist that he do something to fix my broken body. And tomorrow I start Balance Physical Therapy. There are several residents that live here that go there and they say it has improved their balance to the point they are less likely to fall and feel safe walking with little assistance. So I am hoping to have at least a similar result.

Now for the most important news.

Mr. Cleveland is now Mr. Cincinnati. We had a big, and somewhat disturbing couple of weeks. Remember how difficult it was to get a picture of him? Well it dawned on me that I did not have his phone number or his address if I wanted to send a card or, God forbid, a love letter that would not eventually be available to everyone on the internet. We reached an impasse where I insisted that if we were virtual/online partners, or boyfriend, or what ever we were I should be trusted with that information. After all I had shared that information with him when he had requested it. He did not refuse but just kept ignoring my request. So, one more time I gave him the virtual silent treatment. Then about 3 days later I got a text message on my phone with a bright red heart and a pair of bright red kissing lips (a gif) and his full mailing address and phone number and a note that said "I Love You so much, I am sorry. I trust you with my heart and life why would I not trust you with this."

So, we have made up, had long online silly and very romantic conversations on Skype and all is better than right with the world.

Then he finally brought up money. And, when I saw that word my defenses immediately broke surface.  

Turns out he did not want any money from me. What he wanted to do was to pay off all my debts so that I would no longer have that anxiety. Well that touched another soft spot that I have about money and that is one of one standing on ones own two feet and not relying on anyone, much less someone who is rapidly becoming, at least in my mind, that special person. We debated for a while and my insistence that I did not want money to ever be a point of contention in our relationship finally won. Oh, and he did not want to lend me the money to pay my debts. He just wanted to pay everything, not a loan, a gift.

And now he has started sending me those sheets that you get from a realtor that has all the details of houses that are for sale all over the country to see what I think about them. Yes, it does seem to be progressing that far and fast. But, we agree that we have all the time in the world and we do not need to rush. However, he has already made the arrangements with his boss that he will be able to work from home where ever home ends up being.

I have times of very practical thoughts and times of a teenager facing his first love.

We have chatted extensively about My Robert and what he meant and still means to me and how Mr. Cincinnati will never replace My Robert but will instead stand side by side with him in my heart. And, another miracle, he had already formed that thought be had not brought it up because he did not want to upset me.

So there is happiness and joy in my life these days. I know that we will have other ups and downs, that is something that happens while two people become more and more as one. But we have weathered the virtual ones so far and I think we will be able to weather what might come in the future.

Have a wonderful day my friends. Much love to you all.

 UPDATE ON MY HEALTH --- Oh My God, two postings in one day. It is the end of life as we know it

To begin with, and right now on the top of everyone's list, I have been formally diagnosed with Chronic Pancreatitis which is pretty much untreatable and almost always fatal. My life expectancy currently is an additional 10 years...so 85 at the most. Of course I do not agree with that and plan to live well beyond 85 years of age. Then next would be an appointment that I have on the 25th to discuss, among other things, the fact that my last blood work came back showing that my kidney functions were off and placing me in a stage 3A of kidney disease. That means, yet one more time, changing my diet and all my daily routines. It causes me pain if I walk to much or too far (my pancreas does this also so it is difficult to determine which is kicking my ass on any given day). Next would be my diabetes which is totally out of control and would have a direct impact on my kidneys, my legs and feet, my heart and just about every other part of my body. I am now using a Dexcom G7 glucose monitor that test my blood glucose every 5 minutes 24 hours a day, the patches that I have to wear for that cost almost 300 dollars each and I use 3 each month. So basically a thousand dollars a month if I had to pay myself, thank god my insurance covers them 100 percent. Oh, and there is a medication that I have had to start to help me digest food as a direct result of the Chronic Pancreatitis. It is called Creon and if I had to pay for it then I would have to come up with just over 2 grand a month for it. My out of pocket copay for that is 45 dollars a month. that prescription came from my Gastroenterologist who is also trying to address why I have trouble swallowing food (seems that my own body wants to choke me to death on top of everything else).  Then, on the 24th I start physical therapy for issues I have with balance. I currently use a cane all the time to maintain balance. For a while I had to use an upright walker which I no longer need to use except when I have a bad dizzy spell. Don't know what that would cost if i had to pay. Of course there are the issues with my heart. I formally have Congestive Heart Disease and an Aortic Aneurysm. I had a heart attack in 2010 so have been surviving those for 13 years and plan to for a lot longer than that. I hope that if either of these take me out it will be the Aneurysm which is really fast and pretty painless. You just feel a little prick in your chest and you bleed out internally in a matter of minutes. Luckily this usually happens at night and you don't even feel it. Then, of course being an out of control Diabetic I have to take insulin injections twice a day to keep my out of control blood sugar in the 150 to 300 range (normal is between 70 and 100) and they keep adjusting my insulin dosage up trying to get it in control to no avail. I pay 50 dollars a month for my insulin out of pocket. Its real cost is in the thousands. Again, thank God for my insurance. I am sure I am missing something really bad but that is pretty much it...oh, I also have early stage adult Macular Degeneration which could leave me blind...of course it might not.

Oh, I forgot about my arthritis in my right shoulder which causes (is causing right now) serious pain and there is really nothing they can do about it that even my insurance will approve doing.

 SIGNIFICANT CHANGES

Well, I am not going to comment on the current violence in the middle east though I could but the post would be miles long and only provoke arguments.

Now for some significant changes to the Jon Newman Romance Catalog:

Incredibly handsome South American Gentleman: Well all of a sudden, to me at least, he has developed an affinity for Saddo Masochistic behavior and when I commented on it his response was that it was none of my business. I told him that he was correct and that it was none of my business what he chose to do with and to his body but that it was my business what I chose to encourage by watching it and while I did not pass any judgement on him I had the right to not visit him online while it was happening. His response was to block me on every platform including Instagram where we maintained our friendship without discussing any sexual activities on either of our part aside from my mentioning Mr. Cleveland and Mr. Vermont and his congratulating me on both. So, my handsome South American Gentleman is no more.

Now moving on from that broken heart to the beautiful, amazing and miraculous Mr. Cleveland: This amazing man has literally stollen my heart and I have no desire for him to return it any time soon. He has never discussed money, he has never said anything that might be construed as trying to correct any of my behavior except when I told him all about my health and that I would totally understand if he just wanted to pack up and go. On that one he admonished me to never say such a thing, that his love for me was true and sincere and he loved me and wanted me warts and all. And finally I sent him naked pictures of me, wrinkles, sags and all to let him both see and know what he had in store. His response was that I was one of the most beautiful men he had ever seen followed by nude pictures of him, face and all, and let me tell you if heaven could just open and drop the most perfect man in my lap it has certainly done so with him.

The mysterious Mr. Vermont: Well he really is no longer a contender. That decision was solidified when a week or so ago he asked for money which I could not provide. I did not hear from him until last night when he suddenly was contrite and still loved me. The amount of money he asked for was not all that much and he probably thought what kind of poverty stricken old man am I getting involved with. But the request and his response to my informing him I did not have it to send sent up the "you are being catfished" red balloons. I have not told him to go packing yet. I still have some cat and mouse playing that I want to do, but unless he suddenly sent me a billion dollars in gold bullion with an apology, Mr. Vermont is clearly out of the picture.

So, there you have it. The universe has conspired, evidently, to provide me with a near perfect person and only one to boot. Of course, being the skeptic that I am I know that even this could all go south in a heartbeat. So I am not packing my bags just yet.

I will, of course, keep you all up to date but pray that this is what I have been wanting and needing and that it turns out to be true.

Now, as for my health, well I will follow this posting with a rather lengthy diatribe on just that subject. Don't read too much into it, I am not, especially any foreboding about life expectancies. I plan on being here for a long time to come, especially if I have a new and fulfilling love life in store.

 JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER HEAR FROM ME AGAIN.....

Yes, I am still alive and kicking. Kicking the shit out of myself more often than not but kicking none the less.

On the health side I am now officially diagnosed with Chronic Pancreatitis which, according to Dr. Google, means that I have 10 more years to live. Well, I am not predisposed to agree with that and plan to be around a lot longer than that. But it means that I am having to take the most god awful and expensive medication called Creon with every meal and even when I have a snack. My glucose is trying to right itself slowly with the aid of twice daily insulin injections into my stomach which is not a lot of fun but is necessary. The elevated levels of glucose due to my diabetes has placed me in the category of a level 3 kidney disease patient and that will soon be addressed by yet another medication. Oh, and I know wear a Dexcom G7 device that lets me know my sugar levels every 5 minutes which, for someone with an obsessive personality, gives me something to worry about when before I only got readings 4 times a day while I stuck pins in my fingers to get a blood sample. My heart still works but for some reason is not pumping with enough force to get adequate circulation to my legs and arms which leaves me chilled most of the time. But we are working on that as well. We are looking at inserting a device that will increase the pumping ability of my heart. My prostate is still a problem and we are investigating a number of ways to deal with that all of which involve a very attractive Urologist handling my private parts and it takes all that I can muster not to great him with a raging hard on each time he touches Mr. Wiggly. And let me say just one more time...growing old is a bitch!!!!

So that pretty much is a picture of how the universe is conspiring to make my life a daily challenge.

Now for the romantic side of my otherwise dull and boring existence.

My gorgeous South American gentleman continues to be the focus of most of my mature romantic interest. I say mature because that relationship continues to mature into one of great friendship with only a touch of sexual fantasy. I really do see, more and more, it growing into a friendship that will last a lifetime. And I am honored to be allowed to watch as he grows and matures and explores new areas of himself. Much of his growth mirrors a lot of my youth is so many ways. Of course we did not have the Internet and its means of broadcasting sex on demand and I had to venture into some pretty shady areas when I was a sex worker. Even got into a disagreement with a "trick" once that resulted in my having my face bashed in and needing all of my upper front teeth capped.

Alright, I know you all are wanting to know what ever happened with Mr. Cleveland. Well, after hard nosing it for two weeks he finally did send a video of himself (sort of a selfie) with incredibly romantic music in the background. So that on again/off again romance is back in full steam with proposals of a lifetime together. The only problem is that he would not be able to move to Abilene (or Texas for that part) and, due to my health, my insurance and the network of beautiful young specialist that I have managed to gather around me I would not be able to move to Cleveland. So that one is probably not going to continue much longer. But we shall see. As you will find in the next paragraph I am becoming the main course in a first come first served romantic quest to lifelong bliss with someone who worships me and loves me with that purest form of love...the one formed online without ever actually seeing one another much less ever touching with a handshake or anything else your mind can conjure up.

(This paragraph has been altered from the original posting.) So, who is this mysterious third man in my life? Well he lives in Vermont ( so he will be called Mr. Vermont) but has to travel a lot for business. And, by his own admission, he is a Gerontophile. That in itself makes him the front runner of my romantic interest. Add to that the fact that he is in prime physical shape, hung like a healthy horse, is a bottom but versatile, is absolutely beautiful to look at and yes we have exchanged those kinds of photographs and videos involving sexual behavior including full body naked selfies. And, he for some reason, really loves and is turned on by every wrinkle and sag this old mans body has. And this old man is also turned on by him, his body and most of all, his affection directed to me.

Oh, and did I mention that he is ready to just pack up and move to Abilene yesterday if I would have let him. This will be his base of operations, he will work out of home until we can set up office space and staff for him. And home has to wait until the end of November when my lease is up here at "the home".

So, it looks like he is going to be the winner of the Jon Newman lottery. He knows everything about me financially, physically, emotionally and all about my health.

So in that proverbial nutshell you have a briefing of what has been happening in my life. And, except for the health shit, my life is better than it has ever been except for the life I had with My Robert. And Mr. Vermont knows all there is to know about My Robert and me.

Now, I will try to not have so much time pass between postings here in the future. I hope you are all well, happy and living lives that are filled with peace and joy.