O.K. Yet one more abject apology for not posting. I was catching up on all the blogs I read and had ignored for too long. And, I even posted a comment here and there as well.
Now, the ongoing saga of the old man who lives up the lane.
Well my amazing South American love and I had quiet the spat over something that never should have or would have happened if I did not have the tendency to jump the gun and fly off the handle in just the wrong direction. I think that we have made up, at least online, however, he still has not unblocked me on Instagram so I am no able to wish him a good morning and a good night. Plus, an occasional overly poetic and romantic little blurb about what an amazing man he is. I keep hoping and, I will wait. And, if it never happens at least we have repaired our online presence and that is something in itself very special.
I did have my two surgeries. The first was the Gastroenterology thing where they put a scope down my throat into my stomach, turned left and poked a hole in my stomach to get a biopsy of my Pancreas. And, I was later informed, on their way out they took 7 additional biopsies of my esophagus. The results were supposed to be available last Friday but, of course, no phone calls and nothing posted on any of their portals. And Monday is a holiday so the earliest I can hope for results is Tuesday. Of course I have painted myself into a corner of doom, gloom and impending death.
My second surgery was the Urology one where they put a scope up your penis into your Prostate and Bladder to see if there is anything they can do to correct my BPH. And yes, there is a laser procedure that they can do to burn off the swollen tissue inside my Prostate. However, my A1C is 9.3 and they will not do the procedure when it is that high. Now, remember that I am getting steroid injections into my cervical spine to deal with really serious pain. And guess what. Steroids cause your A1C to spike. So I now have to decide if I forgo the shots to get me A1C down so they can do the procedure while I suffer the most awful pain. Or, to I just say the hell with the procedure and continue getting the injections? I have an appointment Friday to get my next shot and before that I will ask the doctor if there is a non-steroidal solution. I have heard of some sort of patch but do not know anything about it and it may actually be a steroid patch of some kind. And other than that the solution will probably be an extra strength something that will eventually eat a hole in my stomach and none of this will matter anyway.
Growing old and paying the price of a youth spent with drugs, sex and rock and roll is a bitch.
On a happier note for the first time in months I actually had a little left after everything was paid. Not much but more than before. And, I am just a few more months from finally being debt free once again. That is no longer just a dream but a real honest to goodness goal.
I am upset with my church and the way they are approaching the entire older Queer issue. They are taking the approach of "there is an inclusive and loving church" that is here for you without even addressing the fact that so many older Queer folk, and young ones also, have been so burned and traumatized by corporate Christianity that the simple mention of the involvement of religion will just drive them deeper into the disappearing closet. So, I have stopped going and am trying to, with the help of a professional care give that works here, develop something apart from the church.
And that is about all this old fart has to share for today. I promise to be more attentive with my postings in the future. Sorry for the absence. And, have a great Sunday all, yesterday was Football Saturday, my Longhorns won and that made me happier. Now lets see what is on tap for today.
Much love to you all with all sorts of hugs and kisses as appropriate. And any other thing that your imagination will allow.
Until next time, I remain, the old man that lives up the lane.
If a church has to tell you they're inclusive, they aren't inclusive.
ReplyDeleteI think that the world is beginning to find that to be the case.
DeleteGlad to hear that you weren't completely gobbled up by the medical industrial complex. I understand your frustration with the system - at your direction, your Primary Care Physician (PCP) should be coordinating the specialusts' findings and recommendations with your desires resulting in a single clinical care plan. However the PCPs are usually overworked and probably overruled by the specialists - who do not play well together.
ReplyDeleteGood luck and take care of yourself.
Will Jay
My PCP proved to be worthless and I am changing to another doctor. I had to arrange the referrals and specialist on my own without any assistance from the PCP or their nurse. I am pretty much over the whole medical myth thing anyway.
DeleteWhen people are asked about their regrets, they often claim they "would not change a thing". Given the consequences of sex, drugs, and rock and roll, what (if anything) would you have changed if you had the opportunity to relive those days?
ReplyDeleteI feel that giving up on your church may be an unwise move. I hear what you are saying about the church not acknowledging the harm they cause to LGBTQ+ people, but I also hear that you are lonely. In addition to convening with God, churches also provide structure (one attends them each week) and community (you get to interact with your fellow churchgoers, even the ones who do not want to sleep with you). Adopting a more private religious practice might be okay with convening with God, but it does not sound as if it does a good job of addressing the other two aspects.
If anything, I think I might change the age I was when I altered who I was and started becoming who I became. I would have met My Robert at an earlier time and when I retired I would have paid off the mortgage of our house in Austin and stayed there rather then buying a house in Abilene for us. But I would never have changed the time we had on the farm. I would have somehow arranged for better medical care for him with the hope he would heal and not die. Otherwise I am happy with my past but really dislike my present and what appears to be my future. As for the church. While I have not had it with God I have had it with religious people. No matter how accepting they may really be it is a case of they are always right and you are always wrong...of course in the mirror of life that means that I am always right and they are always wrong. One of life's great conundrums.
DeleteThere is actually a Metropolitan Community Church (the gay church) here and I have been going there. But I am finding that they, in their own way, as just a bigoted as the non-inclusive churches are. So, my decision to withdraw from the church.
ReplyDelete