Yesterday was in the 70's. Today started out at 36 degrees and will maybe reach 39 with nasty chill factors. But, by Sunday we will be back in the 80's. Texas weather be like speeding while driving, seeing a police car up ahead, slowing down and then speeding back up when you get past the police.

I have nothing on my calendar for the rest of the month so I am just going to putter about. Maybe do a little cleaning, some laundry (the never ending battle) and read and watch movies. Such is the life of an old man in "the home".

I remain amazed at how the CBD controls my pain at a level where it is more an ache that annoys than it is a "just cut off the arm" pain. I ordered another bottle of the tincture this a.m. This time in mint flavor and twice the strength of the first one. Sort of the if 900 mg of CBD works then 1350 mg should work better. It is 100% THC free (Broad Spectrum) so there is very little chance that it could show up in a drug test and I really don't care if it does. The medical community has really fallen down on this one.

My new pain doctor (who looks to be maybe 18 years old but has over 40 years experience) will, depending on the outcome of the MRI on my neck, inject steroids into my spine between C6 and C7 and if that does not work they will either do surgery or some procedure where they actually burn the nerves so they can no long transmit pain. Neither of the last two options appeal to me so I am hoping they will just do the injections and it will work. Of course I will then have to continue the injections every six months to a year for the rest of my life...which could be anywhere from an additional 30 minutes to another 30 years.

I am hoping for something in between. I would like a little more than 30 minutes of life but don't really look forward to another 30 years of this shit since my last surviving relatives are already in their 80's and that would mean that I would be alone for the remainder of my life.

I will take what I get though. Death is not something that frightens me so long as it is not painful or by fire, which would probably be pretty painful. I do, after all, have an aortic aneurysm which could rupture and trake me out in a matter of seconds. Just a pinch and bleed out internally. I don't have any idea what comes after all this. It could be the passage of the "soul" into some highly polished glowing heaven (lots of chrome and gold) or it could just be some sort of return of my cosmic dust to the universe. In either case I believe I will be rejoined with those I have loved and who have loved me even though I will not have any conscience knowledge of that rejoining if it does happen.

But, the science says that while everything can be destroyed except energy then the energy will continue...maybe move into another form (reincarnation) which might be nice depending on what I would come back as. Coming back as water, a part of some massive ocean, might be nice. But I think I would really enjoy coming back as someones loved and very spoiled dog.