AM I GAY OR QUEER OR BOTH? part two

First, if you are just stumbling upon this blog and/or this discussion you can find part one in the posting below the photo posting immediately following this post. I would suggest only that you scroll down and read part one before you jump head long into part two.

And so here we are with this amazing group of folks who comprise a diverse and beautiful group of people trying to live their truth and supporting one another in these efforts as best as they can. Getting to this point was not all butterflies and roses. In fact it involved any number of arguements, some of which bordered on violent, to get to this point. It involved, and continues to involve, the expansion of members of this new family that are often excluded upon their initial assertion of identies.

Where we once had only Gay people we now had Gay men, Lesbians and an entire community that included, in the "good old days" Transvestites, those whose only claim to community membership was that they prefered to cross dress without a gender component, a leather component that wanted to exclude anyone who was not like them, and so many more that it was becomming difficult to keep track. 

Eventually we saw the arrival of those who were, in todays terms, gender dysphoria diagnosed. The entire spectrum of Transgenderism. We had men and women who wanted to transition genders so that they could have either a Gay or Lesbian relationship with their newly definded gender, we had those who only wanted to transition their gender in hopes of finding their true love in the opposite sex and live a long and private life of happiness and joy. To, in fact, live the truth of the very core of their being.

I could go on and on delving into the minutiae of what has become the LGBTQIA++++++ group of individuals that today often stand together in asserting their right to be and to live their truth even within the overall community of individuals without a clear understanding of those we stand sholder to sholder with. And this is where we see the real beginning of those differences between what it means to be Gay and what it means to be Queer.

Now I must remind you that this is all based only on my experiences over the years and my personal opinion and not on any valid scientific research. This is, after all, my feeble attempt to dedide if I personally am Gay or Queer or both.

So, bringing it all home, I state, without question, that I am Gay. I am sexually and romantically attracted only to those of my own sex/gender. If I am going to be in a physical relationship, however long or short, with another person it is going to be with another man. And, somewhere in all that endeavor I may profess my love for that man thus moving from just fuck buddies to a not so clearly defined committment to one another be it monogamous or not.

And yet, on the other hand, I live my life as that Gay man in ways that are unique to that group of men (or women, or Trans Men or Trans Women or Bi men and women or asexual people or those with no clearly defined gender) which include those everyday behaviors that make us unique and in so many ways apart from the heteronormative majority that we are actually a clearly defined group of people that only want to live and be allowed to just simply be. And thus I am Queer.

So I have reclaimed that once derogative term used to denigrate us...the word Queer. Because I am, in fact, Queer in my behavior, my beliefs, the very essence of my being. So yes, I am also, and in many ways more Queer than Gay but am bound to admit that I am in fact both.

And there, in that proverbial nutshell, I have my answer, and I can only speak for myself and my life. I am both Gay and Queer.