AM I GAY OR QUEER OR BOTH? part one

First let me say that this is just my opinion. It is not based on any research but rather on my own experiences in life. And, yes, the question grew out of a discussion on Lurkie's blog and, once the seeds were planted in my brain, provoked me to think more and more about our world today vs. that world I lived in 50 odd years ago. How time flies when you are unconscious.

Now lets get the "formal" definitions out of the way. If you Google the two words, Gay and Queer, you get the following...

Gay: sexually or romantically attracted exclusively to people of one's own sex or gender (used especially of a man).

Queer: denoting or relating to a sexual or gender identity that does not correspond to established ideas of sexuality or gender.

Based simply on those two definitions I am most certainly both Gay and Queer. But life is never easy to live by definition and, in truth, it is so much more than either or both of those definitions.

I have some of my best memories of those days when we were all part of something called the Gay Community. A family of men and women and trans and asexual, bisexual, oh-my-god sexual of every sort and shade. We argued identity just as any family argues points of view even today. We were beginning the process that continues today of creating our own definition of what and who we were. We were identifying our own truth and learning to live it. But we were still a family and it was, in all aspects wonderful and beautiful and glorious. It was one of the happiest times that I have lived through. And, yes, I am saddend by its changes but also take great pride in what has become our new family of folks of every shape, shade, size, and orientation. That virtual rainbow of beings that continues to evolve today.

But with the passage of time the inevitable happened. the strength of individual identities took hold and members of our family began to insist (and rightly so) on defining who they were and asserting their new identities to such a degree that, like a single cell splitting, we had a not so sudden evolution of beings. And, we now had Gay Men and Lesbians.  Over the years the cells of our beautiful "gay" family continued splitting and became many as Bisexual people and Trans people and all the multitude of gender identities began to evolve into a great and beautiful "rainbow" of beings.

And now I need to take a break. I am writing this slowly as my thoughts and memories become more solid. I will continue to write more throughout the day and hope that in the end I can answer honestly wheather I am Gay or Queer or Both. I suspect I already know the answer to that but want to think more on it before I end this posting. So, stick with me if you can, and enjoy this journey.