Well, I am in a Sunday morning snit.
First of all, every CD and/or LP that I want of either Nina Simone or Big Maybelle is "currently unavailable" on both Amazon and Tower Records. What is with that, has there been a sudden reawakening of how great they both were and every person on earth has bought them out of stock. Or is it something more sinister...a complete and total shutdown of the message of their music?
The other thing, and something that has been on my mind for a while now, is how I have been living here for five months tomorrow. I completely walked away from my life before and have pretty much settled in here to my new way of living. And yet, not one single person that I knew before the move, many of who live right here in Abilene, has so much as called to see how I am doing. And, sadly, that includes what I thought of as "my" church.
I know that everyone has a lot on their plates these days but exactly how much effort and time does it take to call someone and say how are you doing, are you all settled in, I heard you have had to stop driving can I pick you up and take you to church or the store or something like that.
One thing I do know is that if she taught me anything at all my mother taught me that you can only rely on people up to a certain point and that most of them are pretty unreliable. Also, she taught me how to hold a grudge.
So, I am in a snit, and sitting in grudge soup right now. Don't know where this will all lead or if I will even try to address it beyond this blog. But right now it is where I am and how I feel. A bit alone, a bit abandoned and a bit angry.
Sorry for venting here but it is where I am right now. Oh, and I did a load of laundry, put it in the dryer and went back up an hour later to get it out of the dryer only to find that I had not turned the dryer on. Crap!!!!
Blogs are for venting, so vent away!
ReplyDeleteYour third paragraph reminded me of my mother who was independent and drove a car until the was 91yo. She would spend the extra dollar and buy a TWO door car because the old ladies who couldn't drive also couldn't climb into the back seat (or get out) of a two door. She didn't want to become the chauffeur.
ReplyDeleteBe thankful for Uber!
It is my experience that if one wants contact one has to initiate it, and that expecting others to reach out to you is a great way to get into a Sunday snit. "Out of sight, out of mind" really applies here.
ReplyDeleteThus might I suggest that you pick up the phone and let your fingers do the walking? Some of the people at your church, etc, might themselves be lonely and would appreciate hearing from you.
Mind! It feels bad to feel abandoned. But stewing is less satisfying than reaching out.
I did all that when I first moved in here, kept in touch, etc. There has to be a give and take in all things and there turned out to be none from that group of people. So, no, I do not feel any need to continue reaching out to the point that I reveal myself to be a lonely old man wanting human contact. I have my community here in "the home" and what few relatives I have left and maybe/probably this is just how my life is going to be now.
DeleteWell, there has been turned out to be none so far. That does not mean there will be none in the future.
DeleteI agree with Yellow Shoes below: by reaching out you might help somebody else -- if not in your old community than maybe in your new one. It is not good to stew and be lonely.
Have you considered turning the problem on its head?
ReplyDeleteYou are now comfortable, safe and surrounded by people.
Do you know, or know of, somebody who is in a really bad situation, sick or alone or short of time or money?
Maybe someone who is a carer who could really use an hour or two respite? Is there a food bank connected to your church that needs extra help? Or an adult literacy group?
I know it is hard to think outside the box when you're understandably feeling a little miffed with the people you thought you could rely on for help and friendship.
Ohhh I think you need to try Half-Price Books. I know there's similar stores in Texas (remember, I've driven through it) and they actually do the search for you. I've gotten some cool Tom of Finland books that way.
ReplyDeleteAs for people not reaching out, it's kind of the MO for most churches/people who are 'too busy', but I'd try once more. Like, not with everybody but your besties. Or the people you got along with better. Who knows, maybe they're jealous cause they think you're having a great time???
XOXO
Had not thought about Half-Priced Books which is funny since they opened their first store in an old laundrymat in Dallas, TX just over 50 years ago.
DeleteVirginia here. I agree that you can only go on ‘reaching out ‘ for so long, if it’s a one way street. I’d suggest you look in other places for friendships and involvement- does your local library need people who will read to children or a Goodwill store that would be grateful for some help, perhaps? Or, can you join/start a Book Group, that would engage with people whose minds were alive.
ReplyDeleteIt is sad when a so-called ‘Community of Faith’ isn’t actually a community at all!