SILENT CONVERSATIONS

These days I find that I have silent conversations more often than not. I do talk outloud to Timmy and he just looks at me with that sort of "wish I could understand you because I know you are saying something important to me" look. And, I often talk outloud to Robert's picture on the wall. But most of the time my conversations are silent. Probably because I just don't want to get too much in the habit of talking to myself. I do catch myself talking to myself outloud, but quietly, now and then in the market or as I walk down the street on one of my walks. But more often it is just those sort of thoughts that are more than just thinking. More of what are the pros and cons, what are the options, sort of conversations.

Probably everyone does just the same with the exception of talking outloud to youself in the market. I probably avoid the "nuthouse" simply because most people don't hear me or if they do they see an obviously older man with a cane and feel sorry for me. One of the great benefits of aging seems to be that people grant you space to just be old.

Part of it, I am sure, has to do with being alone. When you have no one else around you like to hear another voice at times, even if it is actually your own.