Looking back over my postings the past few months I have realized that in many ways this blog is more of a journal, a sort of diary. Compared to all the other blogs I read that make me wish I was in Wales or having to deal with the politics of living, posting funny memes or just casually passing the day it is more me often bitching and moaning and even at times laughing and cheering life on.

If nothing else it is a view into the life of a 74 years old man, widowed after many years with the love of his life, with only one relative in close contact left and living alone 13 miles from the nearest town with 3 dogs, a cat and some 20 chickens, ducks and bantams.

I am really not complaining. I was raised by a mother on her own who had two children (myself and my sister). My sister was ill all her life and died at the age of 32 by suffocation while hospitalized for a medication adjustment. So, from the beginning, I was pretty much a loaner. Books, movies and music were my companions and continue to be. We moved around a lot to try to find medical help for my sister so I seldom made any lasting friends. That is just the hand that I was dealt. I won't go into some of my adventures beginning in my early teens and into early adulthood. But, while I might do some things differently I would not have changed the majority of my experiences.

I have loved and been loved by any number of amazing people all leading to that moment I met the man that I know to be the love of my life. The worst day of my life was when he suddenly died on March 14, 2021 and I will grieve that loss for the rest of my time on this speck of dust in the universe we call Earth.

The most difficult things I have to deal with these days have to do with trying to make it through each day knowing that, for me at least, little will change. I have health issues that come with aging and many that are the price we all have to pay for living the good life in our youth. I have heart disease, am Diabetic with advancing Diabetic Neuropathy, have an increasing issue with tremor which my Neurologist calls Essential Tremor (don't know what is so essential about it but they at least no longer call it Senile Tremor) and says it is probably not related to Parkinson's even though there is a history of that on my fathers side (my Father, an Uncle and two male Cousins all died from Parkinson's either directly or indirectly).

So, in a nutshell, I have the brain of a 20 year old with the body of someone over 100. Which is why, when asked how I am, I either reply "not bad for a person my age and in my condition" or just flat out lie and say "I'm fine".

So today I am fine. It is 5:30 a.m. and I have been up since 2 a.m. which is becoming more and more my pattern. I have all sorts of plans and projects for today, most of which will go undone. But, at least I plan to do them with good intent. It is my fondest wish that you all have a great day living the best life you can. Until the next time I remain "the old man up the lane".