Well my super handsome and smart South American gentleman and I reconnected last night in a most special way. I have missed him. He gives me affection that is not demanding of me which is really nice. This is the sort of relationship I need right now. Not demanding, full understanding on both sides that I will never be more than it is and we both feel we can be honest with each other.

My prostate seems to have healed completely. I am still at that stage where I am learning to know when I need to pee and when I need to pee RIGHT NOW. But I am also sleeping through the night without having to get up time and again. I do still have issues with getting a full erection but have the green light from my Cardiologist to take the "little blue pill" so if my Urologist agrees on the 28th of this month I will have that at my disposal. I do not have anyone in my life to share the experience with at this time and probably will not for the foreseeable future so it will just be for my own enjoyment. It has been so long that I may just sit and look at it having forgotten what I am supposed to do with it...just kidding, I have faith that it is like riding a bike. Once learned, never forgotten.

Yes, here I am, a lonely old man again. Feels familiar and comfortable though. I have my Timmy to be my constant companion, I have my friends here, Hal and Sandy, the couple that have sort of adopted me here and assorted online friends who are there to chat whenever I make the effort. And, I have a new friend named Roy who works at the funeral home across the street from where My Robert is buried. We met when I was there last, I was waiting for the cab to come pick me up and he walked across to see if I was alright or needed anything. We have chatted a bit online and talked about My Robert and his Ken who is 25 years older than he is. They have been together for 42 years. He is a real died in the wool Gerontophile and has indicated an interest in me. If that time comes it will, but right now it is just a friendship. He has offered to take me to My Roberts grave to place flowers next month on the 3rd anniversary of My Roberts death.

Can you believe it is almost 3 years? It seem, a lot of the time, like it was yesterday. I still mourn and grieve for him everyday and will for the rest of time. Loosing your spouse is unlike loosing anyone or any relationship you may have. I stops your entire universe and changes everything.

Enough of that though. Let me just wish you all a beautiful Monday and a wonderful life. Much love to you all. Hugs and kisses and all that stuff that we can only do virtually.