Because I know that inquiring minds want to know. After you have Prostate surgery and are re-learning how to pee it is not unlike housebreaking a puppy.

 GOOD NEWS!!!!

I have been given the thumbs up and a green light to begin an entire new chapter in my life. I no longer have a catheter and yesterday I peed like I have not peed in years and it was wonderful. It was almost erotic. I know that sound a bit strange but when you have spent years having to hope you could pee only to drip and drizzle it is a miraculous act. I have a follow up appointment with my Urologist on the 28th of next month at which point we will discuss additional functions of my junk. Things like getting and holding an erection AKA ED and what can be done to facilitate that and what to expect as a result, the dreaded retrograde ejaculations'. But, honestly, those are the least of my concerns. Just being able to pee like a normal person, being able to actually sleep through the night are all that I wanted and expected from this. And that has been given me through these procedures even though there were times when I just wanted to toss in the towel. I have what I set out for and that is enough.

I know that at 75 I am still "in the prime of old age". But all the rest would just be icing on the cake and not something that is of major concern to me.

The love of my live these days, John, has done a few things that are cause for concern to me. When he found I had already filed my taxes he got all upset saying that he thought we could file jointly and get more money. We are not legally married and are over a thousand miles apart which IRS might find a bit suspicious in filing a joint return. Then he suddenly wants me to open something called a DCU account which he can make use of for some transactions he is, for some reason, restricted from doing. I have laid it all out on the line. I do not want financial assistance from him and I have never been anything less than honest with him in letting him know that I am poor and have nothing to offer except my love. If that is not enough, if our love is contingent on some possibly less than legal activities, then I am going to take care of myself first.

So, I suspect, I am on the brink of becoming that lovable yet lonely old man living his best life as best as he can. I will leave the door open for an explanation from him but I suspect that my days filled with long distance romance are short lived. And, if that is the case, that is alright.

I still have my Timmy, I have a couple of really close friends here that I trust and I still have my cousin and his wife. And I have those of you who have become more than just virtual friends. I have a new friend and his husband who I met during the Prostate experience who have helped me get through the worst of it. Put all that together with a heavy dose of Netflix and Prime Video, a library filled with books to read and the promise of sunny and warmer days and there is little that I want or need.

I am of the opinion and now have the ability to, if things are just not right in my live, I can just piss on it all and move forward.

 So, five days ago I had my prostate surgery. And in the past five days I have been in the Emergency Room 4 times now. Not exactly the outcome I was expecting.

I am tired, I am frustrated to the point of tears and I just want this to be over and done with. If you might be facing this procedure yourself then print out my rantings here and give a copy to your surgeon with the sincere request the he or she not follow my example.

Over and done with, find the best procedure for you and do not let them wander off your target. It is you life after all. The may have the knowledge and skill to do the work but unless they are doing the procedure on themselves they must pay attention to your desires and needs.

Now I am headed to the recliner where I plan on sleeping most of the day. It is cold, only in the teens, and I am depressed. So, sometimes, the best cure is to just try to sleep it off.

 Surgery status is a big Not Over Yet. On Monday the 15 I finally had my Prostate surgery done and what I thought would be a one and out has turned out to be anything but.

I was out cold but am told that the HoLep procedure was going very well when suddenly the laser decided to quit working. That was about half way through so there was no going back so they switched to the Turp procedure. Now, in HoLep as they laser out the swollen tissue any blood vessels they have to cut or nicked by accident is pretty much automatically cauterized. With Turp this is not the case and until those vessels heal on there own there can be anywhere from moderate to significant bleeding. This means no home the same day but at least an additional day in hospital.

For me it was a total of a three day stay at which point it was determined that I could manage without a catheter and I was sent home on Wednesday the 17th.

Everything went well until that evening when a large blood clot decided to block everything that was normally supposed to happen. Imagine having to pee so bad that you felt you might actually explode at any moment. A real "pull over and let me out on the side of the road NOW!!!" need to pee. And as part of that need your entire groin, your penis feels like they are filled with ground glass and the very tip of you penis feels like it is on fire. What do you do?

Get you sweet ass to the ER fast, as soon as they hear blood in the urine, the get you in with no waiting. The doctor and a nurse come in and then step out of your room and talk a bit and the doctor walks away. The nurse is now in charge. First you are given an injection of Fentanyl which only lessens the pain but does not make it go away.

Next she begins to insert a Foley catheter in your penis to relieve the urine pressure that is really causing all the pain. Of course this is never really a comfortable procedure but when the nurse is having to punch right through a clot that is causing the blockage it is even less so. But finally the catheter is inserted all the way to your bladder and the flood gates are opened and you finally have some relief. For me that was a voiding of just over a Liter of mixed blood and urine. Just think about that the next time you are buying a Liter sized bottle of your favorite soft drink at the 7-11.

But now you are sent home with a Foley catheter in you and a bag strapped to your leg. You have to dig out those baggy pants you were always intending to toss in the trash but never did. And you have to allow things a little more time to heal.

So, this coming Wednesday I go to the Urologist office to have the catheter's need evaluated and hopefully removed, the bag on your leg retired and no more lifting your leg up to the toilet to drain like some dog at a fire hydrant but instead start the process of having to learn to pee like a normal person all over.

Now, since it is not Wednesday yet I can not predict my future in the peeing universe or the possible return to normal of all the functions of that part of my body but I can promise to continue the tale of Jon's desire to be a normally functioning man and the saga of how he might finally get there.

 Just a quick post to say hello and that I wish us all the best.

I am headed out the door to the Lab for even more blood work prior to my Surgery on Monday. I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 a.m. and they are predicting the temp will be in the teens that morning. There is something wonky about my blood, don't know what but it threatens my procedure and that will really piss me off. I have been fighting for this surgery for months now and it just seems like one last minute obstacle after another.

But I have faith in my doctors and a good outcome. Of course, my kind of luck, right in the middle of the surgery there will be a power outage or something.

The procedure I am having is called HoLep which you can google if you really want to know.

Now, out the door with me. Wish me luck.

 Well in one more day we will officially be one week into 2024. Today is Little Christmas aka The Feast of the Epiphany. 

True love and happiness is still alive in Abilene, TX as well as in Cincinnati, OH and all places in between. There has be one little twist in the fabric. Instead of me moving to Ohio at the end of the year we are now looking more and more seriously at John moving here. Our lives will take on a much simple patina, housing (except newly build mini-mansions) are a lot more reasonable and our overall cost of living will be less here than there. Also, all my established health care is here. So, as soon as I can manage some sort of transportation and potential housing we can begin the process of a move in real time.

I do hope that you are are enjoying the beginning of the year and that it will bring you your most secret desires.