Dreams can be an amazing thing.

The dogs got me up early again last night but I did go back to sleep, fitfully, for a while. But I was still tired so, after my morning chores (life on the farm has its demands), had my breakfast and the lay back down for a short nap.

I had a dream that I was sitting at my desk paying bills and heard a sound. I looked up and Robert walked into the room. I was shocked awake, sat up in bed, saw the empty room and empty door and immediately burst into tears. Then I noticed that Duke, our Anatolian mix, was laying in his place guarding the door to my room to keep me safe while slept and he was wagging his tail and looking at the door. Not a twitching wag like when he dreams but a happy and welcoming wag like he was happy to see someone.

At that moment I realized that dreams can be real, in the heart if not in the mind.

Now I also have to sit down and pay some bills like in the dream. I have to admit that I am hoping that the dream will come true.

 It is almost 2 a.m. Sara woke me at the stroke of midnight wanting to go out. I admit I was tempted to just ignore her but knew I did not want to deal with the results in the morning if I did so I got up. She went out, did her duty and came right back in. 

 I was wide awake at that point and am still. This does happen on occasion. They want to go out and I cannot get back to sleep. Usually resulting in a day with lots of napping on and off. Normally that would be ok but I had plans to do a lot of housework today and those will probably be delayed for another day. Not an unusual occurrence with me I admit.

Now, sitting here in the quiet, Sara has made a nest in my bedding and sleeps snugly there, and I contemplate my lot in life. Not, I admit, a good idea when you really are wishing you were asleep but not sleepy. 

But contemplate I do and try to be honest with myself. There really is nothing wrong here that is not of my own doing (how is that for being mature). My finances are a mess but I am working to get that taken care of. I finally paid off Robert's car and now have to jump through all the State of Texas hoops to get the title transferred to my name. They do not make it easy or cheap but it is something that needs to be done.

Something else I have had on my mind now and then that is related to my Facebook page which can be found on Facebook as jon.newman.7792052. Why is it that I get all sorts of likes and shiny hearts and clever comments when I post a silly meme that I stole from some other web site but if I post something with any degree of seriousness it goes totally ignored and uncommented?

I suppose that people just sort of gravitate to things that make they smile or laugh or just feel better in general but things that challenge them and make the think or have to evaluate their beliefs make them uncomfortable and they just choose to either ignore them or pretend that they are not there.

Now I have moved into my bonus bandwidth time on HughesNet (my internet service provider) so I think I will sit down and watch a movie and not use my regular bandwidth. But first I will shave and take a nice hot shower to help relax. Who knows, maybe I will fall asleep in my recliner in front of the TV like I do most of the time anyway.

You all, please stay safe, stay healthy and happy, keep hydrated in this heat and remember, there is no better person than you.

 A cricket has taken up residence in my house. While the chirping of crickets can have a pleasant sound on a warm summer eve with the smell of Lilacs in the air that same sound for hours on end may be what finally pushes me over the edge. I have tried to locate the beast but if I go close to where it is the chirping stops and restarts as soon as I move away. And, the little bugger has evidently invited some friends over in the form of large and way to friendly grasshoppers. I know they are just trying to get out of the heat and find some water but uninvited guest are always a bother and seldom know when they have worn out their welcome and leave.

Heat continues though a degree or two less than it has been. Still need AC 24/7 but at least I have that to keep me comfortable and sane and to protect those who I hold dearest...my dogs.

Last night for some reason I fixed pancakes for dinner. Don't know if my circadian rhythm was just way out of whack or I was just going nuts. Mixing and standing over a hot stove while they cooked was not the way I had originally planned my dinner. Actually I have gotten in the habit of just nuking something frozen to keep the heat down. So now you know, regardless of knowing that I should eat better, I usually don't.

Now I have to hit the road to the feed store and get chicken/duck feed and dog food before the heat settles on us again. Usually this time in the morning is nice to drive since I am rural and the drive into town is quiet and on empty highways.

Have the best day you have ever had. Wish I could gather us all together and go someplace cool for a pleasant gathering.

 We have had Covid with us for over two years and are being led to believe it will settle into a virus like the "common" flu even though its latest variant seems to be ramping up its infectious nature and heading for a summer spectacular as infections go.

 For the past few months there has been Monkey Pox roaming the globe, infecting almost 17,000 people (2 or 3 thousand in the USA), men, women and now children. Thankfully there have only been 5 documented deaths due to Monkey Pox so far. Emphasis on documented and the CDC has admitted that not only are the numbers probably massively under reported due to yet one more time a lack of testing facilities but also now admits that it can be transmitted by close contact with an infected individual that coughs or sneezes...yes, it is now being admitted it can be airborne.

If all that does not rile you enough then how about for the first time in over a decade a diagnosed and confirmed case of Polio in an ultra orthodox Jewish community in New York State that does not believe in vaccinations. My limited knowledge of the transmission of viruses would seem to indicate that the Polio virus could move within that community due to their avoidance of vaccinations and could conceivably move outside that community since there is really no such thing as an isolated community in the United States, much less a State as populated as New York.

Add to that the raising of its ugly head by the Marburg virus (a cousin of Ebola) in Africa and that so many of these new virus infections seem to get their global start in far flung areas of the world and my comfort level and faith in those agencies (both Federal and Global) that exist to "protect" us is waning quickly.

Now if all that is not enough to make you want to start wearing a sterilized suit of armor I don't know what will.

Yet there is even more "fun" on the horizon. I read an article this a.m. that calls into question all the research related to Alzheimer's. Seems that the original papers  from 2006 that identified the protein that is associated with Alzheimer's probably had data and images that were altered to fit the conclusion of the paper and not based on solid scientific research. Of course that erroneous data was used to create that new drug for treatment of Alzheimer's that costs 56,000.00 per dose and that will cause Medicare premiums to skyrocket since the vast majority of Alzheimer's patients fall within that coverage.

Where is the shame?????

In the local news it will be another scorcher today. I am about a week away from getting my electric bill and no matter how prepared I think I may be for the potential of an astronomical bill amount I think I need to prepare myself for just going into shock when it arrives.

Other than all the above all is quiet and pleasant in my little corner of paradise. Dogs have demonstrated their preference for an air conditioned house over being outside. Chickens and ducks are showing they have a unique ability to survive even the hottest days just as they did in our two past super cold winters.

And as for me. I have spent an inordinate amount of time reading and watching television. Right now I am reading Cobalt Blue by Sachin Kundalkar, Saint Odd by Dean Koontz and Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders. As for television I am marathoning Warehouse 13, the first two seasons so far, of course my favorites Only Murders in the Building and The Orville; New Frontiers on Hulu and I watched an absolutely horrible movie titled Jason Bend; Queen and Country which does not even reach the status of a bad B movie (is there such a thing as a bad Z movie?)  Yet I watched the entire thing as bad as it was simply because I needed the laugh. It is a play on a Gay James Bond like character who works for a British agency called RIM and is charged with neutralizing a hair dresser who is trying to take over all the salons in the world. Yes, it was really that bad. And Jason Bend Agent 009 was not even that good looking by even my relaxed standards. Otherwise I continue to spend as much time as possible doing as little as I can get away with.

So, on that note, I wish you all a really blessed Sunday, a happy life filled with health and well being and may all your dreams and desires come true.

 Well I have been quiet for a week, sorry for that. I had an emotional week, the anniversary of my marriage to Robert which I celebrate even if he is no longer here. But, I tend to get emotional in that time period and my habit is to just isolate. So, that is what I have been doing.

And, speaking of emotional, I have a movie to recommend. It is a British film released this year (2022) and in English. Available on the Dekkoo channel on Prime here in the US. Hope it is available everywhere as well. It is titled YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE. It is possibly the most beautiful love story/film I have ever seen. Just a heads up though. If you watch it and are inclined as am I then keep a box of tissues at hand.

Now for the weather report. Another day in the 100+ degree range. Long range forecast do not show any relief before mid-August and then only into the mid to high 90's until October. So hell on earth continues in West Texas...and pretty much the entire country. Triple digit temps are even being forecast for the North East and New England states this weekend.

Today I am going to work really hard at finishing what I did not do yesterday by doing even less of it today.

So, on that note, go forth, do as little as you can in good conscience get away with and stay cool, well hydrated and happy.

 Early this morning, before the sun was fully up, I headed into town to the little store we have here to get bottled water, cigarettes and a couple of sausage biscuits for breakfast. The water because I refuse to drink the city water here in Coleman until they finish the new water line in about a year or so. At least once a month you turn on the tap and this yellow/brown yuk comes out of the faucet. The city water utility claims it is safe to drink but I would rather drink the water in my ducks pool than that stuff.

The sausage biscuits were because I have been hit by a super lazy bug today and am planning on it just being a quiet Sunday. Maybe a little television, maybe some reading, definitely some eating and some napping.

We have our heat advisories back for another week or so. Suspected it was too good to be true, the nice weather we had for a couple of days.

While I was driving home from the market it struck me that probably God is doing what God does best. Patiently waiting for his children to get their act together and do the right thing. If we don't soon we will all be on the receiving end of the questions at the Pearly Gates I'm afraid. And, don't think you can show up with prepared answers, He already knows the truth and is just waiting to catch you in your lies.

 Here it is Saturday, which when you are retired is really just another day. 

My hens must have heard how expensive eggs have become since they have been laying an egg or two each day in some feeble attempt to increase their value to me. They have nothing to worry about. They were promised a nice retirement plan when they were just tiny little chicks. Some of them even have names which put a lock on their survival until death takes them naturally.

Now if Cat, the feral cat that took up residence in our garage several years ago would just realize the I actually do like him/her/it and let me pick them up and give them a cuddle. But whatever happened that resulted in them being abandoned out here has taken a permanent toll on them and, while I am allowed to pet them and talk to them they will not even begin to allow an actual pick up. If it was not for my dogs then Cat would be allowed in the house on these hot days and in the cold of winter. But Cat has a cat house that is heated for winter and likes to be free to roam about which results in the gifting of a mouse or lizard now an then as a gift for my efforts. Oh, and yes, Cat is the name that they have. Since they have not deemed to reveal their actual name to me...at least not yet.

As for the dogs...well, they have had their breakfast and gone out to do-their-do and are now on my bed sound asleep. What a life!!

 So, what if my life is just some half-assed television show that someone with pretty poor taste is watching and getting off on? My first suggestion would be that they should fire most of the writers. There are a few good ones, the ones that give me a win and a good line now and then. But for the most part the writing is pretty poor. Then, maybe relocate the show to a nice cool climate, maybe with a beach and lots of really good and cheap restaurants and theaters. Last I would suggest that the person/people that are watching this show need to get a life.

Of course this could be the absolute worst reality show ever produced.

Now for the weather. We had a decent little rain and some strong winds last night that cooled things down to what should be our normal weather for the next week or so. Days near 100 and nights in the 60's and 70's. At this point we may end up actually having a Fall after all. We can only hope.

 Today is supposed to be over 100 degrees again. And, it looks like that is the way it is going to be for at least another week or so. Have I said how much I hate the heat? Last night the power went out for about an hour and a half. The temp inside the house hit 94 degrees before it came back on. I was just sitting here waiting to have a stroke. I would have gone outside to sit but it was actually hotter outside. Add to that the fact that we are in an extreme drought condition with no relief in site until at least October and you know what was meant when Sherman said that Texas was like Hell on earth. Now that's a thought. Maybe the Rapture occurred and those of us that were left behind were all sent to Hell. Damn, I thought I might at least have a chance at purgatory.

Stay cool everyone, stay safe and healthy and happy.

 Well this might be short today.The heat was so bad yesterday that it almost pushed our grid over the edge. Add to that the blood pressure medicine I take that makes me more sensitive to heat and the fact that heat aggravates my tremor and I can barely type and have given up even trying to write or print anything.So I'm doing this using Chrome dictation mode and I will have to go back over it and correct stuff with hunt and peck typing one finger at a time.That's going to be my day in a nutshell. Hope you all are staying cool and healthy and safe. Hope that tomorrow I can be more communicative.

 A moth committed suicide in my cup of coffee this morning. Not knowing if it was a flavor of moth I might enjoy I had to dump my coffee and wash the cup before pouring another. Damned moth. Made me waste a cup of coffee. Selfish thing has no idea what the price of coffee is these days.

Speaking of which. At the little market here in Coleman, TX (the only store in town and they know it) a dozen eggs are now going for 7.49 while a pound of "cheap" bacon is 23.98 and my income (fixed retirement and Social Security is not going up at all. In fact, with the increases in just about everything my income is effectively going down.

Luckily our mortgage is fixed so that remains the same. The PI is only 283.00 per month but when you add in the monthly escrow account (taxes and insurance) the monthly mortgage runs close to 700.00 and of course taxes and insurance go up pretty much every year.

At my age (74) and the size of our house and land it is getting harder for me to actually take care of things on a day to day basis. Plus I have health conditions that require frequent visits to doctors all of whom are at least 50 miles away. So, add that to the fact that eventually I will have to stop driving (later rather than sooner I hope) I have to give thought to someday moving into a more urban area.

The only problem with that sort of move is that apartments average 1,000,00 per month just about everywhere near me. So, I have actually begun to think about a senior independent living situation. Again though, even though they include everything, rent, utilities, meals, it would take almost my entire monthly income to even get into an efficiency unit. Plus I would have to give up my dogs, quit smoking (OMG No!) and be dependent on others to get to and from anyplace I would go.

So, looks like I will probably just stay put until they drag my lifeless or drooling old body out of here and put me in a "home" or the ground.

And, on that cherry note, I will end this writing.

Smile at someone today. Stay happy and healthy and safe. We are not out of the virus shadow yet and other viruses seem to be lining up in the wings for their entrance.

 Well an early start to my day today. Heading to the market as the sun begins to rise to avoid the heat as much as I can. We are looking at 100+ degree temps for at least a week and then the high 90's and low 100's until at least October. God I hate the heat!!!!

On the lighter side my dogs, Duke, Sara and Timmy are all in their clown modes this a.m. That brightens my day a bit but they will slow down as the day heats up. Even Duke, whose instinct is to lay outside and guard the property, is more than willing to do his guarding on the inside with the AC running.

The world is still there in its miserable state. I am trying to muster as much of a positive attitude as I can but deep inside I feel that I am lying to myself. I have great faith that we are all God's children and as such are one large global family. But some of His kids are misbehaving and need a good long Godly time out.

 July 6, 2022

O.K. so I said I might start up my Blog again and here I am. Just my ongoing observations about the world and what is going on in it. I DO NOT INVITE COMMENTS since I do not want to debate my point of view. Sort of an "I know I am right and your are not" attitude I know but it is what it is. I have an opinion on just about everything and this is going to be my space to express those opinions. If the world does something to change any of those opinions I will do so, and I am not beneath admitting I am wrong when I am, rare though that may be.

So, to start, just an observation that the world seems to be going to hell in a hand basket. There seems to be multiple mass shootings daily, there is a large and very vocal group of people that believe, almost religiously, things should be their way or no way. That you should be shot if you disagree. Not unlike my opinion that this Blog is mine so keep your opinion to yourself. However, I believe everyone has a right to their opinion without regard to what I think and I let them be...never would I try to silence the other side by violence.

And, here we are, 2 days past Independence Day of 2022 and we are watching the very Federal Branch of Government (the Supreme Court) that was created to protect the rights of the American people begin the process of stripping those rights that were fought for and granted decades ago, little by little, away from the people of the United States. The goal seems to be a nation created to protect one way of life, one opinion and philosophy of living, and, if you do not fit into that conservative mold then you are a criminal and will be treated as such.

Now, jumping about a bit, all this stuff about sending our thoughts and prayers when there are mass shooting and people torn apart by military style weapons, even little children. So many people say why bother. Thoughts and prayers have done no good. Our gods do not answer those prayers and the shooting continues. Well, maybe that is the intent. God might just be doing what He does so well. Waiting for us, the human race, the Children of God, to begin to behave like human beings with some mysterious connection to God, to actually take some action ourselves to make a change for a better and safer world to live in.

So, since I can feel my blood pressure going up, I think I will stop this for now. But in closing just a couple of things I found online...